whoareya
2:37 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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Asbestos stripping in the nineties was in full PPE with a battery-operated full-face mask. That Pulled the outside air in and blew up to your face. Anyway, about three hours into the job getting the urge for a dump cannot go outside as this means going through a decontamination cycle too long before a shit. Looking around decided to find somewhere to strip off and have a dump grabbed some rags we were using and found a corner all to my self. Unbelted the negative air pressure unit and placed on the floor, still working and left the mask on. Squatted and dumped into a red bag this is the colour for asbestos waste all beautiful relief just started to wipe my arse, and the foulest stink came up in the mask. Gagging and trying to raise the filter motor for fresh air and finish cleaning my arse with eyes watering and coughing for fresh air I couldn't stand it and run away naked with this air filter pack bouncing behind me. Recomposed myself went back don't know why I thought it was a good idea to hold my breath, and deep breath goes back cleans my arse. Trying to put the decontaminating suite back on got both legs through just going to put my arms in. I have to breathe so I exhaled and ready for some fresh air fuck me whack another gulp of shit smell what the fuck did I drink or eat for this it was atrocious and sickly. Couldn't run away this time as the suit was halfway down my legs so tried shuffling away and tripped up on the floor I just rolled away with the air filter bobbing along behind me. Sorted my self out what do I do with this bag of shit I know chuck it out with the asbestos, so I taped the bag head, it looked half full, I put it in a clear bag and taped this up the same as we do with all the other bags. Next day we had to remove all the last days asbestos bags this involves washing and cleaning all the bags before they are placed into a skip. This shit bag went through everyone laughed as it was so light not knowing what's inside. The two blokes who took the bags and placed them in the skip did not return we had another load ready for them. About twenty minutes later they returned grey ashen-faced with red eyes and snot coming out there nose fuck whats the matter asked. One said we were placing the bags in the skip and this terrible smell came up. We both started being sick the smell was awful we might have to call the police as there must be a dead body in the bags I ran back into the tent and could not stop laughing it hurt so much. I had to tell them what happened we all had a laugh was glad when the job was finished after that I was the main one for all there jokes. Worse one was we had to wear wellies, so we wore long socks halfway through one day a strange smell came up right back of the throat horrible smell said to one of the lads whats that smell he said it was stale water from the boilers when we fished and went through the showers they had stuffed a week old sock above the power pack air filters.
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yngwies Cat
2:11 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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Twickenham station. The litter bins stuck to the wall make a great emergency bog. It's a bit of a fath to get on the thing especially when pissed.
Honourable mention goes to my younger brother who was nicked after taking a code red dump behind Chiswick Town Hall
Last year I had an interview for a company that is based behind the town hall and during the interview my I could see out the window the exact spot where the crime was committed.
I got the job thanks to mystical spirit of cats juniors dump.
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Cheezey Bell-End
12:59 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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Green Park twice, a few minutes apart, about 1999.
Unfortunately round 3 hit me as I was walking past the palace.
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Wilko Johnson
12:55 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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The day before the first game of the season at Barnsley in 1997 I was at work and had real stomach ache. I soldiered on then towards the end of my shift it eased and I felt that a good fart would release lots of trapped air. I let rip and felt dampness going down the back of my thighs. I shuffled to the toilet and tried to clean up, my boxer shorts were soiled so I left them behind the toilet and managed to get through the hour or so left of my shift. That night I woke up at 5am to find I had shit the bed. The day out in Barnsley was sweltering, really hot sun, not great when I was probably a bit dehydrated. After the game there was quite a bit of trouble and the walk back to the station saw the locals out to make a name for themselves. But I was in a strange chilled out couldn't give a monkeys mood. On the Monday at work the cleaner told me he found a pair of soiled boxer shorts in the toilet on Saturday, I said "Really?, some people eh".
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young woody
12:28 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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The Stanley.
No loo role either so had to use my boxers.
Horrendous
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ChillTheKeel
12:26 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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In an ex's garden. I then trod on it 2 hours later when asking for my clothes back.
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Sven Roeder
12:15 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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Not me but used to work with a MATE who was originally from Doncaster and his lot used to go to the races there.
Came out after a losing day and too many beers and walked past a Rolls Royce they knew belonged to one of the bookies.
His mate jumped up and curled one out right in the middle of the bonnet.
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Far Cough
11:57 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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In a friend of his neighbours metal dustbin, there was a party going on so his khazi was rammed, oh and it was fucking freezing
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Bungo
11:40 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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Many years ago, due to a lack of bathroom availability, a friend of mine (not me really) ended up having to take a dump in the kitchen sink at someone else's flat. This also meant he had to deal with the aftermath using kitchen towel and the available kitchen utensils.
Needless to say I still can't look at a potato masher without shuddering.
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PwoperNaughtyButNot
10:31 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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I know someone who woke up naked in his parents bathtub - went out the bathroom and saw that the entire stairway carpet had been removed.
His dad came back from the tip where he had taken the carpet and told him what happened.
He was so pissed and so In need of a dump when coming home from the pub that he ran upstairs whilst undoing his trousers to save time. By the time he got to the top of the stairs his trousers were down his ankles and he just gave up and passed out and proceeded to bump his way down the stairs on his back whilst evacuating his dump at the same time.
Dad picked him up and dumped him in the bath and then tore up the carpet because he didn’t want to clean it and took it to the dump
That’s got to be up there
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PwoperNaughtyButNot
10:24 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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Down my leg
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Dr Matt
9:32 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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Public toilet in Central Park. Very degrading.
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ironsofcanada
9:03 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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Watching a bear, nervously, on a mountain.
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TeVaz
8:33 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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When I was 16 I returned home after a night on the lash only to find that my key wouldn’t open the front door . Dying for a dump I proceeded to curl one out on the doorstep thinking I’d clear it in the morning. Only then did it dawn on me that we had moved house the previous week .
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joe royal
7:22 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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Was that T?
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chim chim cha boo
7:10 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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Told this before but on a first date in Camden I took an E before meeting a lovely girl at The Lock Tavern.
It's the first and last time I have ever been to a khazi in a pub when both the Male and female (yes I would have jumped into the female bogs in an instant) were BOTH out of order.
Had to leg it round to Clarence Way where all the front gardens are TINY and shit in some poor cunt's little bush while begging my date to find some absorbent leaves to wipe my bum on.
Halfway through the shit the bloke who owns the house opens his curtains to see what all the noise is about. I silently mouthed 'sorry' and he closed the curtains in the most disdainful manner imaginable.
Went out with my date for 23 years.
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Sydney_Iron
5:24 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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On a run, suddenly got that rumbling in my belly and felt like I was about to explode, ducked into a garden, into some bushes and dropped my shorts, out it came like a cruise missile just as the lady whose house it was opened the door and a dog shot out barking its bollocks off straight into the bushes I had just soiled, I quickly pulled up my shorts, no time for a wipe and ran out of the bushes, peered around about 50 meters down the road and could see the lady looking into the bushes!!!!!
Always keep my head down and quickened the pace every time I pass that house now…….
Needless to say it was straight into the shower when I got home.
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HairyHammer
4:49 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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I was 9 years old my brother thought it would be hilarious to give me ex lax one evening which i thought was chocolate, I must have eaten at least three pieces. Next morning on my way to school I felt a rumble and knew what was about to happen so I just pulled down my pants in someones front garden and let nature take it's course.
For the next two or three years I felt nothing but disgust and shame when I walked past that house, I had no idea it was from the chocolate I had eaten the evening before, my brother with a wry smile asked me if i went to the toilet at all and I told him what had happen fat cunt rolled around on the floor laughing like mad, he then explained what he had done I just could not understand how it worked like that and thought why would anyone want that to happen? .
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gph
2:04 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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I was having a quiet shit in Debenhams in Romford in the 1970s when two people turned up and decided to fuck in the next door cubicle. I never actually saw them, but I presume it was two blokes.
It rapidly got so violent that I was worried the whole flimsy structure would collapse, so I wiped my arse, pulled my up trousers and fled.
Found somewhere else to finish my shit. Washed my hands after the second stint.
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Long Lost
1:39 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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In the ditch right outside motorway police station junction 13 M40. Out for a run and couldn’t hold it.
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icwhs
1:27 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t
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I was doing an early Sunday morning cross country 6 miler, in Stockholm they prepare and light up areas for running through the forest.
About 4 miles through, I hadn’t met a soul I just got a stomach cramp that had me bending over in agony, i ran from the path into the forest 🌳, grabbing a tree trunk behind me...
Anyway i was burying the leaves 🍁 and turned to go, there was an elderly couple drinking coffee from a thermos looking at me in horror...
I just legged it.
Funny now though
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